These strange things are mounting in imaginativeness, and last week I was asked to take a video of myself “jumping on rocks.” It was to be casting material for a French perfume advertisement; the client wanted to see how I moved on camera— specifically, how I sprung amid imaginary stepping stones in an imaginary lake trailing imaginary silks and streamers. At home in the suburbs between a doctor’s appointment and trip to the supermarket, I got my mom to film me bounding about our garden; a slightly shaky, substantially overexposed, thirty second iPhone clip complete with our neighbor’s lawnmower hum in the background. Jump, hop, squint, skip. Send off to Paris with a signature iPhone whoosh. Next time maybe they’ll ask for cartwheels?